Characters
Cassandra-20 year old girl
Malcolm-Strange Man in his 50’s
Policeman #1
Policeman #2 (Alex)
Setting-Living Room
Time-present day, at night
{The
scene opens up to a girl on a couch in her living room. She appears to be
watching TV, as a remote is in one hand, the other propping up her head. She
obviously does not like what is on, and instead flips channels to find the show
to quench her boredom, but she is finding no such luck}
Cassandra-God! I am so bored. Why isn’t there anything on TV
tonight?
{She
clicks the remote a few times}
Cassandra-I’ve all ready seen that.
{She
clicks it a few more times}
Cassandra-That movie is so stupid when it’s “edited for
television.”
{She
turns off the T.V.}
Cassandra-Why can’t there be anything exciting to do around here?!?
{Someone
rings the doorbell. Cassandra looks
at the door for a moment, sighs, gets up and walks over to the door. }
{She
opens the door and sees a middle aged man with a somewhat large bag by his
side}
Malcolm-Hello.
Cassandra-{uneasy} Hi…
Malcolm-I’m here to offer to you which is in itself a once in a
lifetime opportunity. Interested?
Cassandra-No. {Slams the door,
locks it}
{She
takes one step towards the couch, but then the doorbell rings again. She turns
toward the door, unlocks it and opens to the same old man}
Cassandra-{annoyed} Yes?
Malcolm-I’m here to offer to you which is in itself a once in a
lifetime opportunity. Are you interested?
Cassandra-NO! {about to slam
the door again, but he stops it with his foot}
Malcolm -Would you like to buy a monkey paw? Very cheap.
Cassandra-Ew, God no! Why would I want something like that? {closing her front door}
Malcolm-{stops the door from closing
on his face again} Wait, wait, wait. It’s not just any monkey paw…
Cassandra-{interrupts; in a
sarcastic tone}-yeah, ‘cause nowadays EVERYBODY selling monkey paws.
Malcolm-{sighs, then
continues} As I was saying, this isn’t just any monkey paw; it is a wishing monkey paw.
{pause}
Cassandra-I’m sorry, what? I spaced out for a few seconds.
Malcolm-{sighs again, hand
touching temple, to himself} God, how is she even able to breathe on her
own? {aloud} This, my dear, is a very special monkey
paw. {He goes into his bag and pulls a
monkey paw out} This is a WISHING Monkey Paw. Three wishes for whatever
your heart desires.
Cassandra-So, three wishes, all for me?
Malcolm-Yes.
Cassandra-And it’s all thanks to the gross monkey hand.
Malcolm-Monkey paw, but yes.
{pause}
Cassandra-This sounds familiar.
Malcolm-{shocked} What?
Cassandra-I said, “This sounds familiar.” I think I read a story
like this in school.
Malcolm-{still shocked, and a
little worried} Uh…No you haven’t!
Cassandra-Yeah, I did. I remember now, well, sorta. We were reading
“The Monkey’s Paw” for English class, but that was when Kelly broke up with
Kyle and I had to give all my attention to her. Luckily, she told me The Simpsons did a Treehouse of Horrors
episode with the story, so I just watched that. Turns out, I lucked out with it
anyways. My English teacher had to cancel all her classes that week-her baby
came early. But yeah, I know what you’re doing.
Malcolm-{sheepishly} You
do?
Cassandra-You’re trying to get me to make wishes for myself, ‘cause
I worked so hard for finals! That’s so sweet of you.
Malcolm-Uh…yeah, sure. Why not…
{Cassandra grabs the paw out of his
hands}
Malcolm-Hey, you gotta pay…
{Cassandra closes and locks the door}
Malcolm-…for that!
Cassandra-Okay, what should I wish for. Hmm…
{She
thinks, while playing with the monkey paw.}
Cassandra-Oh, I know! {closes
her eyes} I wish I had a large cheese pizza, cooked to be crispy, but not
too crispy, in a pizza box delivered to my house right now.
{doorbell
rings}
Cassandra-Yay! The pizza’s here.
{Cassandra puts the monkey paw on the
couch, walks to and opens the door. Malcolm’s
still there, but is now holding a pizza box.}
Malcolm-You still have to pay for that paw.
Cassandra-Hey! Give me my pizza. I wished for that!
{Cassandra grabs the pizza and walks over to the couch, but leaves the
door open, letting Malcolm able to come
in}
Malcolm-That was your first wish? Pizza?
{Cassandra sits down, opens the box,
looks in and sighs}
Cassandra-They didn’t cut it the way I like it! I wanted square
pieces and I got triangle slices.
{Cassandra pouts, but shrugs it off and
takes a slice and eats it}
Cassandra-That is sooo good!
Malcolm-Pizza? Are you freaking kidding me?
Cassandra-{looks to Malcolm, innocently} What? I was
really hungry.
Malcolm-You do realize that this {he picks up the monkey paw from the couch} can get you ANYTHING?
And when I mean anything, I mean anything! Riches, love, expensive clothes…you
name it can give it to you.
Cassandra-{grabs the paw from
Malcolm} I wish I had a 20 oz.
bottle of Diet Coke.
{she
waits a moment, gets up from the couch, and goes through Malcolm’s bag---while it’s still on his shoulder.}
Malcolm-Hey, get out of that!
{She
finds her Diet Coke and finally leaves his bag alone.}
Cassandra-Ew, it’s warm. Oh well, I’ll just get a cup of ice from
the kitchen.
{Cassandra leaves for the
kitchen(offstage). Malcolm is
getting angry}
Malcolm-{aloud}A SODA? {to himself}The girl can wish for
anything in the world, and you wish for a SODA!
{He
takes a slice of pizza}
Malcolm-{yelling to Cassandra in the kitchen} You know,
most normal people wish for money, jewels, fame, or… {He takes a bite of the pizza} Well, this is really good pizza,
I’ll give her that…
{Cassandra returns with a cup of ice}
Cassandra-YAY! Now I can enjoy my pizza.
Malcolm-Look, you got one more wish left. May I suggest World
Peace? End Hunger? {watches her staring
at her pizza before she eats it} at least one half of a brain? {to himself} So at least you’d have half
of one instead of none at all.
Cassandra-{takes a drink} You
know what? You’re right. I am going to wish for something other than myself.
Malcolm-{to himself} Finally.
Cassandra-I wish you would go away.
Malcolm-Wait, What?!?
{Then
two policemen come running into the house, taking Malcolm and his bag, dragging him out the door}
Policeman #1-Alright scumbag, you’re coming with us. And trust me, with
all the evidence we got piled on you, you’ll be locked up in solitary
confinement for a long,long time.
Policeman #2-Yeah.
Policeman#1-{annoyed} Way
to add to the conversation, Alex.
Malcolm-{screaming while
being dragged} All I wanted was to sell monkey paws! {Malcolm and the Two Policemen exit out the door.}
Cassandra-Finally, some peace and quiet.
{Cassandra walks over to the door, with
her pizza in hand, locks it and sits back on the couch. She takes a bite of her
pizza, picks up the remote, and turns on the TV.}
Cassandra-Yay! There having a Charmed
marathon! I love that show. Those girls are always getting in trouble with
magic.
(LIGHTS OUT)
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